Happy Birthday Mom

Today, on what would have been her 92nd birthday, I celebrate my mother. Yes I mourn her. I grieve her loss. Every day I thank God she was my mom.

My mother is my inspiration. She was a realist. She saw many things in her life. She saw pure joy and pure hatred. She was a true patriot and lived an authentic life. She wanted to be remembered for her choice to live life as a person who was loyal and supportive. She fought for justice, always took care of people, and our home was always open to our friends and to anyone who could not be with their own families - especially around the holidays.

She was brilliant. A gene, that sadly, I did not inherit. She loved to laugh. Something I did not see much when I was a teenager and I am confident my own teenage children know how that feels. She taught me to look at the big picture, a gift I try to work on every day.

In her early years she wanted to be a journalist and figured out a way to achieve her goal. At the end of World War II, right before the Communists took over Poland, she boarded a train by herself and left her beloved family and country to save her life and hope for a better tomorrow. Eventually she landed in the United States of America and gave us all the gift of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. It was decades before she was able to return to Poland - to the family and land she loved. She gave everything she had to her four daughters. How lucky we were.

At the end of my mom's life she had dementia. All of her gifts, among them writing, painting, broadcasting, sadly taken away from her. My hope was always that the awful memories of life in Nazi occupied Poland as well as the pain of not seeing her parents, sisters, and brother were also taken away.

In the simplicity of dementia my mother remained a warm, gracious, and loving woman who up and until the end of her life she taught me what it meant to be really, really brave.

As I do every day, but especially today, I celebrate the remarkable woman named Roza Fredericka Nowotarska Kobylinska and all the wonderful gifts she taught me.

Love you mom and Happy Birthday (Sto' Lat).
Magda

Protection

If you look at my Profile you will find out that I am a teacher.

Being a teacher my heart is broken.
Being a teacher I can only imagine what the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School felt when their students, who they were hired to protect, were under attack.
Being a teacher means that for the time you are at school you protect the lives of everyone in your classroom - in your school. It's a community within a community within a community.

You may not always get along with your child's teacher.
You may not always get along with the teacher across the hall from you or in the other building.
You may not always see the face of God in the children who are in your classroom or the adults down the hall - but it's there.

If you look at my profile you will find out that I am a parent.

Being a parent my heart is broken.
Being a parent I can only imagine what the parents in Newtown Connecticut felt when they heard the news that their children's school was under attack.
Being a parent means for the time your children are at school you hope they are being educated and protected by people who dedicate their lives to your children.

As a parent and a teacher I am in awe of the brave acts performed by the teachers and administrators at Sandy Hook Elementary School, as well as how brave the children must have been.

If you are a parent or a teacher next time you sit across from one another start your conversations knowing that you both have the best interest of the child in your heart and that if ever under attack both of you would do anything to offer them protection.

Magda

Twas the Week Before Christmas

It's the week before Christmas. Oh crap! Are you Kidding!

The decorations, the presents, the menu - Get Up! Stop Sitting!

We need to get to the attic, to the woods, to the store!

Yes it needs to be done - plus the wreath for the door!

The children keep asking, "What's the matter?, they say.

"Have you forgotten in a week it will be Christmas Day?"

What will we tell them if we don't manage to get it all done?

"So sorry kids this year Christmas will stink, there's to be no more fun?"

The neighbor's lawn, have you seen it? There are so many lights

When did that happen? When did they? How many nights?

On their windows are bows. On ours? Heaven knows!

We are so behind! So behind! From our heads to our toes.

Where do we start? Should we make a list and a plan?

Or maybe we just book a trip to Japan.

No, that won't do we really need to get ready,

If we don't Christmas dinner will be a pot of spaghetti!

We could start with the presents. Do we know what they want?

And for whom should we buy for, your brother, my aunt?

And the kids, yes the kids, we could get them some games.

For the XBox and Wii - but I don't know the names.

To the stores I will travel. To the stores I will go.

How many to visit I really don't know.

To Target, To Nordstrom, To Macy's, and Old Navy Too!

To the Gap, and to Starbucks, and to the Little House Blue!

To the mall I will go and drive around and around.

Where there will not be a parking spot in the lot to be found!

To the computer I'll try that - now we're really in trouble!

To get it by Christmas we'll have to pay double!

Now go get the tree. Yes, the tree. You can do it!

Please remember the size. Yes, the size. We need one that will fit!

When it comes home let's remember putting it up can be fun.

No screaming, no shouting, or the kids they will run!

Christmas Card picture? Is that what you said?

There's no chance that we have one without eyes that are red!

Get everyone together. We can try one more time.

Matching shirts? Are you joking? It can't be a crime!

Time to go to the attic and get all the stuff.

Unwrap all the bulbs. Give the fake wreath a good fluff.

Wait, what's that in that box? The one over there?

Is that the Santa pillow that goes in the rocking chair?

This week will be crazy! Yes, we've done it again!

Last year we swore we would remember the pain!

We promised to be organized. Not to wait till the last minute!

The chance of that really happening is like the lottery - and we win it!

We'll make it. We'll pull it together. We will!

We'll even be happy until we see the credit card bill!

We'll worry about that later. It may take all year to get over our blight.

For now Happy Christmas to all , and to all a Good Night!

Ho, Ho, HO!
Magda

The Fine Art of Saying No

It has been awhile since I have had the time to write a blog post. It's because it has been awhile since I have had the time to form a complete thought.  Maybe you are familiar with the line in the holiday song, "Deck the Halls"..."Tis' the Season to Be Jolly" HA! Tis' the Season to be Busy!

There is a good possibility that I am not busier than anyone else this time of year. It's the extra added things I have said "Yes" to that have made the past month CRAZY! It is completely possible I am addicted to saying "Yes, sure, I will do that, happy to help." I may in fact be a serial volunteer.

People volunteer for all sorts of reasons:  To give something back to their community, To help others, For Personal Growth, For new and unique experiences, or because when asked they simply cannot say NO. That's me.

19th Century American Humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw, who wrote under the pen name Josh Billings,
once said,

"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough." 

The saying yes thing is the pressure I put on myself. The need to please people maybe, or the desire to not be judged if I simply say, "No". Is it really okay to say no, even if a part of you is going to feel guilty for not helping out? The answer is YES!

I am realizing that just maybe there is truth in the following:

• It's okay to say NO if you would rather relax than go out.
• It's okay to say NO if helping someone else out means you will sacrifice your own needs.
• It's okay to say NO because you don't have the time, even if you don't know right at this moment that whether you will or will not be available in the future.
• It's okay to say NO even if you do not have a detailed excuse. Even if you think you should give one.
• It's even okay to say NO after you have said yes. Especially if you realize you were not being true to yourself.

So starting today I will be practicing the fine art of saying, "NO". Right after I finish helping out with the tea at my daughter's school, give out all the swim team clothing, buy the snacks for next week's meet, and feed my vacationing neighbor's cat.

Fa la la la la,

Magda

To Secede or Not Secede, That is the......Really?

According to Webster's Dictionary the definition of secession is to:
1. withdrawal into privacy or solitude: retirement,
2. formal withdrawal from an organization.
The kids definition: The act of separating from a nation or state and becoming independent. Think Circa 1865.

Fast Forward 147 years and there are petitions from people in all 50 states to secede from the United States of America. An action that I like to call, "I Didn't Get My Way So I am Taking My Ball and Going Home Syndrome"

Leading the way - Texas and men. The state of Texas, "We the People Secession Petition", has over 40,000 signatures. Men have out signed woman 62% to 38%.

Most petitions in all 50 states have the same names. People are becoming serial secessionists - signing petitions via cyber-space all over the country. According to an article found in The Washington Times signing these petitions are giving people a feeling of "unity" as they fight against the "Union".

It all seems to be the ultimate Pity Party.

Have you ever seen the movie Moonstruck? There is a great scene where Cher slaps Nicolas Cage and exclaims, "Snap Out of It!" Find a Serial Secessionists and give them a good slap. At this trying time in our country's journey we should be working as one, What was it Aristotle said? "The whole is more then the sum of it's parts."

C'mon people, time to get your heads out of your, Texas's, roll up your sleeves and start thinking about the big picture. Putting the pieces of this beautiful country back together not breaking it apart even more.

Magda

Labels

Well it's election time. Time to Vote. Time to make big decisions for our country and communities. Time to get labeled.

Everyone is labeled. In an election year these are the most prevalent: Republican, Democrat, Independent, Moderate, Liberal, Conservative, Decided, Undecided, Socialist, Activist, Pacifist, 1%, 99%, 47%, Needy, Wealthy... Ugh!

Have you ever bought a shirt or sweater where the label in the back just rubs against your neck and all day long you itch, twitch and bitch until you can't take it anymore You tug to rip it off or take scissors and clip the darn thing. That's how I feel about all the labels being used during this political season. Enough already!

It seems that at a time when people have lost everything they possess including lives we would stop and remember there are some labels we must always possess: Kind, Compassionate, Tolerant, Courageous.

Regardless the outcome let's hope after Tuesday we all get back to restoring more humane labels. Of course this task will require one of the most precious labels of all: Patient

Respectfully waiting,
Magda

Counting the Years

Today, October 26th is our wedding anniversary. It is also marks one full year of writing this blog.

This blog would have never happened without my husband. He suggested I take a "Gap Year" which allowed me the time to find my passion for writing. He was the main character in my first post. He continues to encourage me to write.

Here is what I have written for him to mark the years he has put up with me.

Counting the Years

As we count year after year
The many smiles and an occasional tear
The times we felt that things were in serious tatters
It's what lies deep in our hearts that really matters

We have experienced a lot and have more to still learn
That constant smile in your eyes still makes my heart yearn
We have found a way to rise above
At the very core is great respect and love

We have so much and we have made it so far
We never forget just how lucky we are
To have all that we have there is no disguise
We both know we've been given the ultimate prize

We are the fabulous five it's true and it's real
Our family is our passion it's just how we feel
It's a life on the go and it's crazy sometimes
But really we know these are the best of times

We would do it all again in a minute no doubt
You hold in your heart what I can't live without
These past 21 years have been special you see
I can see now so clearly what real love can be

Happy Anniversary!
Magda

Driving 101

I am in the midst of teaching our 16 year old son how to drive. I will break down this sentence to give a mental picture of how this is going so far.

I  - Me. A Middle Aged, Menopausal (or as I like to say Mental-Pausal)Women, who at any given time could be described as - Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho (Emphasis on the silent P)

Am in the Midst Of - Daringly putting my life into the hands of a boy who cannot find both shoes in the morning.

Teaching - Banging on the dashboard screaming my head off as my life flashes before me.

Our - The use of this pronoun is merely a formality out of respect to the child's father but in reality whenever my husband asks me how the driving is going I respond with, "I think YOUR son is secretly trying to take me down."

16 Year Old Son - Anyone living with or having lived through the experience of having one of these Beings in their presence knows that they are Omnipotent and therefore are not apt to taking instruction well from a person they deem as completely incompetent.

How To - How can you teach a human "How To" do anything when they already know everything - "I KNOW MOM, GEEZ, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, I MEAN YOU HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME 100 TIMES TO SLOW DOWN." (Standard response, "If you already know then why are you still DRIVING TOO FAST?")

Drive - The Control and Operation of a Motor Vehicle (while a woman who used to cut the crust off your bread and still does all your laundry has turned into a raving lunatic)

Next Week : It's called a Blinker, Use It!

Buckle Up!
Magda

Time

In our kitchen hangs a perpetual calendar that our family has had for 18 years. I remember the day I ordered it from LL Bean. I was so happy. I had admired a beautiful handmade perpetual calendar my mother in law has in her kitchen. I was excited to find something like it, albeit mass produced, and remember the first time I hung it in our home - three homes ago. For some reason I have a connection to this calendar. It is almost as if it holds in it the passing of time for me and my family.

I rarely remember to change the month on the first day - case in point it is the 5th of the month and I just changed it over. I always have the same feeling when I move the tiles for the number of days, pictures for special occasions, etc.. into a new month. The feeling of a new beginning. I rarely feel sad that time passes along. I usually feel a sense of wonder. I reflect on the events that have occurred the month prior, look at the pictures that coincide with specific holidays and then wonder at how the new month will proceed. I have found myself marking big events in history on this calendar. After 9/11 I used the American Flag Tile at the end of each month as a way to remember. I realize I stopped doing this a few months ago. Maybe I stopped because somewhere in my own self I didn't need the visual reminder anymore. This memory has simply become part of the fabric of who I am now - to remember to be grateful every day because it can be taken away at any time.

After my mom died I started using a new tile on the 28th of every month to remember the day she died and to have a way to mark the time that has passed. The tile is a red rose with a red, white, and blue swag around it - this tile is supposed to be used for Memorial Day. And, I guess, that's what I am using it for - as a memory.

I asked myself today why? Why in the world am I doing this? First of all I recognize my gut is telling me to, it's an instinctual act, just like with the American flag tile after 9/11. But again, the question persists, why? I think I am doing this not to remember that my mom died, the hole in my heart reminds me of that every day. I think I am doing it to remind me that my mom lived. And in doing so I want to remember how my mom lived. I want to remember that she rarely, if ever, compromised her beliefs and that she loved unconditionally. She was so many things and did so many things that I feel it is important to find a way to hold on to her strength any way I can, which even includes this quirky way, especially as time passes along. My mom loved life and wanted to be a part of it as long as she could. I believe this act helps me remember.

One of my mom's favorite poets was Rod McKuen. He wrote a poem, Pushing the Clouds Away. Here is part of that poem. Funny, I have never read this poem before today, but for some reason I can hear my mom saying these words to me, time after time.

Golden Gate Bridge in Clouds
Courtesy of National Geographic

I have been going a long time now
and along the way I have learned some things.
You have to make the good times yourself.
Take the little times and make them into big times.
Save the times that are alright for the ones that aren't so good.

Well I'll admit.....
I have never been able to push the clouds away by myself. 
Help me, please.

And she always did, every time.

Magda

Stop Messing with My Broccoli

I have really been wanting to write a post about food.

Since I am not a foodie or a cook I knew it would be a hard sell.  I cook food of course, just not very well. Today while I was preparing another nondescript meal for my wonderful family of tolerant and non fussy eaters I arrived at the last straw place - or maybe it was an AHA moment - my Oprah and Dr. Phil wires are crossed. What ever the term is for the place I reached I got there when I realized that I am being gypped out of perfectly mediocre food to feed my wonderful tolerant family of non fussy eaters

I am starting to notice that for the same price I am getting less food!

Yes, it's true. My package of Keebler Cookies has less elves!

My box of Store Brand (shh - don't tell the kids) Granola bars, while having the same number of bars and touting only 90 calories per serving, is really only 90 calories because the bars are smaller!

My box of Family Size Mac N Cheese no longer feeds my family! Well this could be because two members of my family are teenage boys who eat EVERYTHING, but still!

And now today my package of frozen, microwave in the bag, broccoli has less florets!

As Charlie Brown would say, AAUGH.

I guess the upside is with this less food epidemic I can probably, finally, loose weight since I will be eating less, well, food.

But of course, so far, that's the one thing I haven't seen any less of - go figure!
Magda

Liebster Blog Award

I am a little late in posting this....

Back in the spring fellow Blogger Dani Sison nominated me for a Liebster Blog Award. Thank you Dani!
I do appreciate Dani's nomination - it brightened my day. Having written this I have just fulfilled Rule One of the award - thanking the person who nominated you.

Being me I have tried to find out about this award by searching Google. It's origin seems to be a bit of a mystery. One blogger who was also curious found out the following things:
1. The award goes from blogger to blogger - a chain award (I am okay with that since it means someone - other than family members and friends who I enundate with emails begging them to read my blog - is actually reading)
2. Once you accept your award you have to nominate 3-5 bloggers with less than 3,000 readers.
3. The award originated in Germany

Given the word Liebster is German this makes sense to me. By the way the word Liebster means: sweetest, kindest, dearest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, kind, cute, endearing, and welcomed. If my blog is actually ever considered to be even one-quarter of these things it would be fantastic.

In further research I have found more than one version of the rules for this award. Some versions are more daunting than the others. Who knows which to follow?
According to Dani the rules are:
1. Each person must post 11 facts about themselves.
2. Each person must answer the 11 questions given by the person who nominated them.
3. Each person must choose 11 people and link them in their post.
4. Each person must tell the 11 people that you have tagged them.
5. No tag backs (red bunch buggy)
6. Each person must nominate blogs with less than 200 followers.

Honestly, I will follow what may be the original rules, see below.
They are easier. I hope this doesn't disqualify me.
Rule One - Thank the person who nominated you - please refer back to paragraph one of this post.
Rule Two - Link back to the person who nominated you.
Here you go Dani http://todaytomorrowforever3.blogspot.com/2012/06/liebster-blog-award.html
Thanks again for including me in your list.
Rule Three - Link to 3 - 5 Blogs that I like and admire, So, you all might also like:
1. Cry, Laugh, Heal -  http://crylaughheal.blogspot.com/
2. The Cupcake Suite - http://thecupcakesuite.blogspot.com/
3. Any Shining Thing - http://anyshinything.com/

Dani did ask me to answer 11 Questions and I do not want to be rude or ungrateful so here goes:
1. If you could get lost in any place in the world, where would it be? Hawaii
2. What is your dream destination? Australia or Bali (I cannot decide)
3. If you were stuck on an island and could only bring one thing, what would it be? My husband
4. Describe yourself in one word. Indecisive
5. Choose: clothes, books or gadgets - clothes, no I mean books, no I mean gadgets, no clothes...
6. What book have you read and you wish that you wrote it? "To Kill A Mockingbird"
7. What is your favorite past time? Sitting on the beach
8. If you could un-read any book that you read in the past, what would it be? I don't finish books I don't like.
9. How old were you when you read your first pocket book? 10 (The Red Badge of Courage and I still have the copy)
10. Would you rather stay home or go out? Stay home
11. What is your favorite food? Ice Cream


It IS so nice to be nominated,
Magda

A Wise Old Owl

Sometimes the Best Lessons are the Simplest Ones to Recite but at times the hardest to Practice.
Time to make this one Simple to Practice too.

Magda

Balance

The buzz word of the moment seems to be balance. Everyone is talking about it, looking for it, and hoping to achieve it. I spent most of the past year hoping to find it. Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a whole book, Eat, Pray, Love, about a quest to find it. (Personally I could not get past Pray) There were times I felt I found it and times I felt it was gone forever.

I have realized balance is fleeting. Think of the gymnast on the balance beam. The "beam" is only 3.9 inches wide, it is arguably the hardest event in Olympic gymnastics, the maximum time allowed for a balance beam routine is 1 minute and 30 seconds, and the event is only performed by women. Coincidence? I think not.

Balance is temporary. Balance is evolving, Balance is individual. Balance is a myth. Many claim to have "balance" but once you figure out that balance is a myth, you can stop all that stressful striving for it. This theory may sound pessimistic but it is not meant to be - it is meant to be freeing. As unpredictable as life is you may feel in "balance" for about 1 minute, 1 hour, or if you are lucky maybe even for 1 day - but then something can come along and shake your center and possibly knock you off your beam.

The trick is getting back on and finishing your routine. Every now and then you might achieve a perfect 10.....

Best Friends

Recently I have been lucky enough to spend time with close friends.

This picture sums up how I feel about our time together.

I hope everyone has someone in their lives they can call a friend. Someone who they can openly talk to knowing that they are not being judged and what they say stays in the "vault". Too often we find ourselves in situations where insincerity reigns. I am learning how to choose to walk away from these unhealthy environments.

Time with true friends is precious. Being your own true friend increases the chance to have more sincere and positive experiences. We are the ones who  hold our own best interests front and center, us and our other best friends.

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing, said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Magda

Clean Slate vs. Blank Sheet of Paper

Ever been stuck? Just plain ol' stuck, wondering all sorts of things about your life? The feelings can be daunting or exhilarating or a little bit of both. One thing I know for sure is being stuck is no fun. It means there is no movement, no place to go, no growth, no adventure. Think about it - being stuck is yuck!

Every day life moves forward. We can or cannot control what is going on around us or even to us. I have found that mostly we cannot control it. Life keeps going and things keep happening. Some times we need to get off the wild ride of life and watch it for a while maybe even go to another slower ride just to catch our breath or even choose to stand on the other side of the fence and watch for awhile (but not too long).

With any change life hands us a Clean Slate or a Blank Sheet of Paper - it depends on how you look at change. I am famous for saying "Change is Difficult" mostly because I am not too fond of change but I am beginning to understand that without change there is no room for growth - without change you can become stuck.

Change can be refreshing, like a Clean Slate. A fresh start to do something completely different and maybe even fun. The clean slate effect comes in to play when we are in control of the changes in our lives. These are scary times but can be exciting as well.

Change can be yuck, like staring at a Blank Sheet of Paper and not knowing what to write. A paralyzing and ginormous task with no way of knowing how to begin or begin again. The blank page effect comes when change happens to us completely out of our control. These are scary times and usually never exciting.  These are the times when we can really get stuck and they are usually accompanied with being angry, resentful, frustrated and afraid.

The challenge is turning that Blank Sheet of Paper into a Clean Slate. Looking beyond the fear and possible bitterness to the idea that change can be good. That change, whether our own doing or brought on by outside forces, means we can get off one ride and go on another and maybe it's time to even choose a new park altogether - to start over someplace fresh and new. All we have to do is change our views and be brave enough to move forward and buy a ticket.

Next.
Magda

If We All Understood

If we all understood:
.
Everyone has their own insecurities to face.
Everyone has their own loves to contend.
Everyone has their own goals to attain.
Everyone has their own battles to fight.

The world may be a gentler place.
Anonymous
Re-posted from Purpose Fairy
http://www.purposefairy.com/

I Like Dave Barry's analogy. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent."

Magda

The Olympics Effect

Our family and most of our fiends are Olympics obsessed, or maybe I am Olympics obsessed and I am making it up about the rest just for validation. Whichever is the actual truth it seems that I am not alone. Everywhere I look there is Olympics news.

What does being Olympics obsessed offer:
1. An excuse to sit inside on a beautiful day and watch TV
2. An excuse to take Couch Potato to Olympic levels - so far I am in the money for the Gold Medal for time spent potatoing on my couch. I promise to cry when they play the National Anthem.
3. An excuse to go out and get all amped up to exercise (during the local news so you don't get any spoilers). For me it's swimming laps - in my mind I am swimming just like Missy Franklin or Katie Ledecky, in reality I am pooped after two lengths.
4. An excuse to let your children watch as much TV as they want with no consequences - "Oh you're watching the Olympics, and not Jersey Shore, excellent."
5. An excuse to, while watching the Olympic swimmers compete in any race, lean over to your son/daughter who are swimmers and say, "If you apply yourself a little more maybe you could compete in the Olympics one day."
6. An excuse to feel a kinship to the parents of Olympic athletes who are televised showing the emotional roller coaster every parent feels when their child competes in anything - even the friendly game of catch in the backyard.
7. An excuse to, when it's all over, realize that you ignored your dog, neighbors, emails, bills and life in general to watch some patriotic and global magic and it was worth every second.

Going for the Gold,
Magda

Forever Young

Every day I look forward to reading the comic strip ZITS by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman. The main character in this amusing snapshot of life with teenagers is Jeremy Duncan, a 16 year old high school freshman who is a good kid, intelligent, and kind. Yet, he still has an attitude one would expect from a teenager whose monosyllabic answers and crazy ideas of how life works befuddles his poor parents. The website tells us that the authors are parents themselves and they draw upon their own experiences. I am convinced they have some secret James Bond like camera connected to my house.

In the past I have shared some of the experiences we have in our house full of teenagers, much to the chagrin of the teenagers we have in our house. I am thankful that Zits exists because it makes me feel normal. The comic is meant to be funny and give insight on the crazy hormonally challenged emotional lives of teenagers. It also gives a snap shot of us struggling parents who try to make sense of this "phase" of our children's lives as we try to impart some life lessons, all the while keeping our own sense of life (and humor) intact.

Recently I have had parents of younger children, who are coached by my older children, come up to me and say, "We just love your children, we hope our kids grow up to be like them." I smile and say "Thank You" but what I really want to say is, "Would you like to take one home?" Or "I'll Trade you, your three for mine." Of course I would never trade my children in, as tempting as it seems. Who would I fight with over the importance of a made bed in the morning?

Thanks to Erma Bombeck we are told not to sweat the small stuff. I have tried. I know much of what I sweat over with my kids is small stuff but for some reason I feel as if I am imparting some big picture wisdom on them with the small stuff and many times I have failed to get the message across to them. I know life does not work this way but some times I get so caught up in every day life I seem to miss the big picture myself.

Bob Dylan wrote a beautiful song titled, "Forever Young". In case you are unfamiliar with this song (and it's not the Rod Stewart Version) I am giving the lyrics below. Bob Dylan's words are as truthful to what I want for my children as any words I have ever heard/seen. I try to tell them these things but we have hit the teenage years where they know everything and we, their parents, know nothing.

If  I could get my kids to listen to me I would say, "Every time we disagree always remember these are my wishes for you."

Forever Young
Lyrics by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
may your wishes all come true.
May you always do for others
and let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars

and climb on every rung
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
may you grow up to be true.
May you always know the truth
and see the light inside of you.
May you always be courageous
stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
may your feet always be swift.
May you have a strong foundation
when the winds of changes shift.

May your heart always be joyful
and may your song always be sung.

May you stay Forever Young.

May you Stay Forever Young

And may you do so with clean teeth and clothes (especially underwear) and a well made bed.

Magda

(or in this case, Mom)

My favorite audio version of this song is sung by Audra Mae and the Forest Rangers - no offense to Bob Dylan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaPEe4EwTEU&feature=related

Keep it Simple

Life is complicated and unpredictable.

I am the Queen of self-imposed craziness. I volunteer too much, say "Yes, I will do that", way to often and over think just about everything - Not really a good plan.

Here is my new plan of action.
Miss someone?.......................Call them.
Want to see someone?............Invite them over.
Feeling misunderstood?...........Explain.
Have questions?......................Ask
Feeling uncomfortable?...........Walk away.
Don't like something?..............Say it.
Like something?......................State it.
Want something?....................Ask for it.
Love someone?......................Tell them.

We only go around once. Keep it simple.

  Magda

No Judgement Here

I am still processing all the hoopla over Anne-Marie Slaughter's article in July's Atlantic Monthly about not being able to "Have it All" or "To Do it All." The whole concept of women needing to prove we can do it all or that anyone needs to have it all perplexes me. For the record, I am not judging her choices or her need to share her experiences. I just don't get it.

Why, you may ask, don't I get it? For me it is quite simple. If you have choices then you have it all. You can choose to do it all, or just do some of it, or do something one day and then do something else the next day, month, or year or not do anything. The key is you have a choice.

There are so many women in the world you have no choice over what they can do or can have. They either live in a culture where they are oppressed and have no real choices, literally non, Or they live a life where they have no choice but to work because they are the sole providers for their families.

Most women I know, me included, have MANY choices. I feel extremely lucky. Frankly, there are days when I feel I have to do it all and I hate those days. I am always trying to delegate things to others. I know I take on too much and then I regret all I have to do. I am aware that I am not curing cancer while trying to raise a family but I don't think it really matters. There are times when our lives, or the lives of those around us, call for us to make choices. Prioritize. Pick something over another. The key is we have the luxury of choice.  Many women do not.

What, I am afraid, we are guilty of is judging each other for the choices we make or don't make. This judgement stifles people into making or not making good choices. "What will people think of me if I do or don't do what they think I should or shouldn't be doing?" We are way to hard on ourselves and each other and we definitely don't support each other enough. Oh poor Anne-Marie Slaughter, she had to give up her "Dream Job." A high powered and profile job and trade it in for another high powered and profile job that offered her more time with her family. I say, "Congratulations" to her and, Wow, isn't she lucky to have had the choice."

I think of all the women in the world who are told that they can and cannot do simple things and they have no freedoms to do the things are are called to do. They have no ability to even find out what their dream job would be because they are not allowed to work outside the home.  I think of the women who have no choice but to work hard in service jobs or jobs that still don't give them equal pay because of their gender. I think of my mom who had no choice but to work hard to provide a good home, good food and good education for her daughters. People judged her for it and they judged us for having a "working mom" back in the day when mom's worked more in the home than outside of it.

Oh, I am not done yet. What's up with the need to have it all? What is "It All?" I guess if I have to ask I don't have it. But, I actually think I do because, again, I have choices. I know for some having it all means having what everyone else has. Well that's impossible. When did "Having Enough" get replaced with "Having it All", anyway?

Tom and Katie seemingly have their "Dream Jobs" and have "It All" and look where it got them. OUCH!



I say be kind to yourselves and to others for the choices that are made. I little less judgement can go a long way.

Magda

Give Up and Live

I am a serial horoscope reader and lover of inspirational quotes. There I said it. Both of these things give me pleasure and ground me in a weird sort of way. I find myself cutting out the really accurate horoscopes and I have books full of quotes. Why? Good question. I have no idea really. It's a habit that makes me feel better and gives me cause to think.

I want to share with you all a website I have found, www.purposefairy.com
I found this where all information is shared these days, Facebook (written with a tad bit of truthful sarcasm)
Here is one of their recent posts:

Give Up and Live
Give Up the Need to Impress Others
Give Up On Your Fears
Give Up Your Self-Defeating Talk
Give Up the Past
Give Up Living Your Life to Other Peoples Expectations
Give Up Complaining
Give Up Your Resistance to Change
Give Up the Luxury of Criticism
Give Up Labels
Give Up Your Limiting Beliefs

I think all of us have our own list of things to Give Up - those things that just don't work for us anymore. It's a good practice to take time and cleanse ourselves every now and then. I liken it to a 3-5 year business plan, it's always good to renegotiate things in business - Taking this practice into our personal lives gives us the opportunity to keep moving forward with a fresh attitude and a plan for leaving the dead weight behind.

It's liberating
Magda

Thank you Nora Ephron

I am sad to learn that Nora Ephron has left this earth. I am sad the way you are sad to hear a friend has gone. No, I was not friends with her nor did I ever have the chance to meet her but I am grateful for her life and feel her loss.  Nora Ephron was brave enough to speak the truth and talented enough to make us laugh.

We have recently been told we cannot have it all, in case you have been living under a rock check out Atlantic Monthly. Well Nora Ephron was a writer, director, mother, wife, there didn't seem to be much she couldn't do - and if she made a mistake doing it she seemed to try again, and again until she got it right, until she excelled at it, and some say she revolutionized and set the bar for many directors, screenwriters, essayists and novelists. She well may have had it all, at least she gave it her all.

She made me feel "normal". Her books and movies kept me company in lonesome times and on rainy Saturday nights.  I would be embarrassed to tell you how may times I have seen When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and Julie and Julia.  I have seen them so many times, not because I am crazy or have a lot of free time on my hands, or simply always procrastinating,  but because the dialogue is so good I never tire of hearing it and the characters are people I could see myself being friends with, just like Nora Ephron.

Tom Hanks wrote, "She lifted us all with wisdom and wit mixed with love for us and love for life." Listen, if you don't believe me, you know Tom Hanks doesn't get it wrong. She overcame adversity in her life and made something of herself. She had spunk, and heart, and wasn't afraid to go for it, and to laugh at herself along the way.

In 1976 she told Newsday, I have always thought it was a terrible shame that the women's movement didn't realize how much easier it was to reach people by making them laugh than by shaking a fist and saying don't you see how oppressed you are."

Thank you, Nora Ephron, for making me laugh.

Magda
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2012/06/nora-ephron-1941-2012.html
http://topics.nytimes.com/topics/reference/timestopics/people/e/nora_ephron/index.html

Dog Days

Summer is one of those times when everlasting memories are made. It is a time when a person can return to things or places they may only experience in June, July and August.

"Dog Days" is used for the most sultry period of summer. The origin comes from earlier times and was used by observers living in countries bordering the Mediterranean Sea to describe the period of time that was 20 days before to 20 days after the conjunction of Sirius, the dog star, and the sun. And here I just thought it meant the time when the dog was the laziest because it was too hot to do anything in all that fur.

Here are some things that I love best about summer. Think of this list as a User's Guide to the Dog Days of Summer. Jump on in - relive the simple pleasures of your past or try something new - the water is cool.

1. The Beach -The smell of the tar on the boardwalk and French Fries, playing beach volleyball or beach bocce,  diving into the waves or riding them and the ding-ding of the boats at Funland.
2. The Pool - For floating on a raft, dunking in to cool off, doing handstands underwater, playing Marco Polo, or swimming laps - It's like a party everyday.
3. The County Fair - Two words - Funnel Cakes - Blue Ribbons - Fruit Pies - Monster Jam - Pick your poison.
4. Jigsaw Puzzles - All shapes and sizes.
5. Board Games - Even Chinese Checkers.
6. Lobster Rolls - Best and cheapest if eaten in Maine.
7. Summer Blockbuster's - Too hot to be outside - put on your favorite sweatshirt and catch a flick.
8. Hammock's - Under a shady tree with the birds chirping and the wind blowing.
9. Summer Reading - Trashy novels, wish lists, or school books - there is lots of time to sit and get lost in a good book.
10. Afternoon Thunder Storms - When you can see the steam coming off the street and maybe catch the glimpse of a rainbow.
11. Car Games and Sing A Longs - The Alphabet Game, Aunt Sally Went to the Market followed by a round of On Top of Spaghetti and 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.
11. Cool Treats - Ice Cream, Popsicles, Snow Cones and Clay Boys.
12. Maryland Crabs - THE BEST!
13. Rainy Day Movies - At home or in the theater.
14. Sprinklers - To water your garden, lawn, children and even you.
15. Time with family, friends, a good book, or alone - Hopefully, just a little extra time.

What's on your list?
Magda

It All Comes Back to Springsteen

Lately I have been thinking if I had the opportunity to write a letter to someone who had a big impact on my life to whom would I write, or is it who would I write to? (I have never mastered my who's and whom's).

Parents are the most likely choice of course. I was blessed to be able to spend time with both of mine before they passed away and I am confident that I left no words unsaid. Next up is the teacher who mentored me. I am actually friends with said teacher, who is hopefully reading this, and I am confident she knows. I am ninety percent on top of my thank you note writing - I think I even write thank you notes to people who send ME thank you gifts and notes. I could thank my husband - if I were taking to him - just kidding! I thank him every day for merely putting up with me. I take time to thank God every day for my life, for life in general, for everything really. Plus I am saving Him for the big Oscar thank you, in case I ever get around to pursuing that acting career. I counted yesterday how many times I said thank you - 105! Those thank you's were for the door holder, bag packer, salad maker, water glass filler upper - I was thirsty so he got 6.  But these thank you's were to people who did not have a big impact - they just made my day better.

No, I have narrowed it down to the fact that I would send my thanks to Bruce Springsteen. I thought for awhile maybe I would write to Harper Lee or Jane Austen for writing my favorite books, or to Bill Cosby for making me laugh out loud as a kid. Why is there air anyway? Why did Fat Albert's friend wear that hat over his face? I thought I should write to one of my sisters. I have 3, well 5 since I like to include my sisters - in - law, and I know I can never pick one of them because they have all impacted my life in very different but significant ways. I have fabulous friends and they all deserve more than thanks for being my friend  - no easy task I am certain  - but I feel confident they too know how grateful I am for their friendship. So I am back to Springsteen.

Why the Boss? As long as I can remember his songs have been my favorite, the words poetic, the concerts epic. Most of my favorite memories are relived whenever I hear one of his songs. It seems silly to say his music is the soundtrack of my life - well then call me silly because it's true. Sure I listen to and love other genre's of music and other artists and groups, but none as much as him. I still go to his concerts, still blast his songs in my car and still remember all the fun times I have had with his songs playing in the background.

So here it goes:

Dear Mr. Springteen/Dear Bruce,

Thank you for your decades worth of music that have been the soundtrack of my life. Thank you for giving your all at every concert. Thank you for writing Rosalita so I could sing it at the top of my lungs all through High School. Thank you for singing Pete Seeger's songs for a new generation of listeners. Thank you for putting Nils Lofgren in the E Street Band. Most of all thanks for continuing to write meaningful songs that make us think about something other than ourselves.

You Rock!

Forever Your Fan,
Magda K. Mooers


To whom would you write? (Or is that who?)

If Everyone Jumped Off a Bridge

Did you grow up in a house where your mother or father used the phrase, "Well if everyone jumped off (Insert name of local bridge) would you follow them?" In our house it was my mom's way of saying, "Do you really always need to be a follower, stand up and think for yourself!"

This is one of those phrases I have repeated to my own children. I am certain a younger version of myself swore to never repeat it but my older self realizes the value of the lesson. I have to admit I still use it to check my own choices.

My most recent jumping off a bridge experience has to do with the little known (Ha!) book, "Fifty Shades of Grey." Just about everyone is reading this book, or has read it, or is planning on reading it. Everyone it seems but me.  For some reason I have no interest. I know it's steamy and naughty and if I want to be a part of conversations I should read it but I want to start a different conversation. My disinterest in the book is a gut feeling I have because I really didn't know that much about the story line - and I think I am using that term loosely.

I am usually one to jump off the bridge, metaphorically speaking of course, and not only when I was younger - In my adult life I bought beanie babies, stood in line for Harry Potter books and movies, have waited in lines and payed $2.75 for a cupcake and have wasted far too much time watching silly You Tube videos of people singing "Call Me Maybe."

But I cannot bring myself to read this book.  I am not adverse to reading steamy novels but I read a review that made me believe the relationship between the young reporter and Mr, Grey was obsessive, possessive and unhealthy. Who needs to read about that? So I am listening to my gut feeling along with my mother's voice inside my head and walking right past the bridge.

Feeling brave enough to join me?
Magda

Recharging

In daily life a person spends time recharging things. Recharging their cell phone, computer, IPad, camera batteries, etc., we even have the ability to recharge cars. How much time does the average person spend recharging themselves? Aren't we more valuable than our phones?

Daily life demands so much of our electronics that we sit them at bay for a period of time so they can reboot. Shouldn't we do the same for ourselves? As adults we demand so much of ourselves and our lives demand so much from us that we should take the time, daily, to recharge. It seems obvious that this would be ingrained in every person and we shouldn't feel guilty.

For most school aged kids summer is their time to recharge. It is their time to relax and switch gears from the grueling schedule of school and activities. Summer routines hopefully slow down the frenetic pace of life, or at least switch things up a bit. I think this is one of the reasons I chose to become a teacher. It's not all about shaping young minds...if I were being totally honest it's also about the schedule.

But it doesn't seem quite right to have to wait until the summer to recharge. If we make the time daily then summer, or vacations, would be bonus recharging time rather than a complete replacement of one’s batteries. Anything or anyone will burn out from overuse. I would rather learn to take it easy, recharge every day, and hope to make it past my warranty.

Magda 

Gone Fishin

When I think of the phrase "Gone Fishin" I think of a wooden sign hanging on the door of a market in a town that would resemble Mayberry. The sign would be hung to let people know that the proprietor was out on a boat or on the shore of a lake with nothing but their thoughts and nature with the hope of a nibble from a fish that may or may not become dinner. When we see those words now they indicate someone is taking a break or has gone on vacation.

Not too long ago my husband took a break while on a business trip and spent the night on Mt. Ranier in the fine state of Washington. He called from the cabin where he was staying. He had to use a pay phone because there was no cell reception on the mountain. He was surprised. I was grateful. It made be happy to think there may still be a place or two left on the planet where a cell phone would not work.  A place where someone could be alone with their thoughts and nature.  Studies frequently show that the benefits of complete down time are essential to a person's well being - thoughts can be fully processed, relaxation achieved and serenity restored.

It used to be a traveller could count on not having cell phone reception on an airplane. Some quiet time to read, talk to your travel companion, or sleep with the only unwanted noise being the cry of a baby. Virgin America is in the process of taking that away. I hope they will give passengers earplugs along with their free beverage service because the last thing I want to hear on an airplane is 200+ people's conversations.

As I write this I am a day away from a trip of my own - a well deserved week in Hawaii where I plan on sitting on the beach and by the pool, swimming, and hiking a volcano (or not).  I am packing my cell phone, of course, because it is the one accessory I can't leave home without in case there is a teenage crisis. As I daydream about my trip I am hopeful that I can unplug from the world and sit with my thoughts and nature. I am hopeful there will be at least one place, like Mt. Ranier, where cell phone service is non-existent. If that place exists I will be there...knee deep in the water with the blue sky breeze blowin wind in my hair wearing a big ole sign that says, "Gone Fishin'."

Aloha.
Magda

If Cigarettes Cause Cancer... and Other Obvious Questions

In a classroom full of Third Grade Students stating the obvious or asking the obvious question is a daily ritual. It keeps one on their toes and absolutely reminds one, Why DO we do that, anyway?

Third Grade questions are usually the easy obvious questions such as: What page are we on? Any teacher knows how many times you say, "Please turn to page 59, Page 59, I need you all to turn to page 59,that's 5-9,........ please", and that page 59 is usually also written on the board! OR What's today's date? This is my favorite because in the classroom where I have been working, on a good day, the date is on the board in about four different places.  AND Third Grade is also the time when the students start noticing their classmates and just about every Monday you will hear, "Did you get your hair cut?", usually said to the student who comes in with ALL THEIR HAIR BUZZED OFF.

There are times when the students ask the thoughtful obvious question for which there are no real answers. For these the standard reply is, "Because it's always been that way", or "I have no idea". Students always look at a teacher funny when they say, "I don't know" as if we have failed them in some way.

In actuality there are some questions for which there just seem to be no real good answers. We just seem to accept these things as the way it has always been or we don't really think about what the outcome would be so much if we did finally answer the questions in a different way or with a different action. I guess it's also possible, sometimes we just wish, maybe even hope, things were different and we ignore reality.

My list of obvious questions:
1. If we know we are a size 10, Why do we reach for the size 8?
2. If we know that "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world", (N.Mandela), Why do we continue to slash education budgets?
3. If we know that cigarettes cause cancer, Why do we continue to produce them let alone smoke them?
4. If we know that plastic bags take 1000 years to biodegrade , Why do we continue using them? (This one actually came from a student in third grade when discussing Earth Day and things we can do to help Save the Earth.)
5. If we know that too much Tequila is a bad idea, Why do we have that last Margarita? Of course this could be any type of alcohol but since it is Cinco de Mayo.....
6. If we know our kids are going to break curfew, Why do we let them go out? I bet some of you thought I was going to ask, Why do we set one? Just wait until you are a parent yourself, is my stock answer these days.
7. If we know that football causes serious brain injury, Why.....oh never mind on that one I know the answer and I still don't like it!
8. If we know laughter is the best medicine, Why don't we as much of it as possible?

What is your obvious question?
Magda

Eat Dessert First

I have one of those embroidered pillows at my house (I believe this dates me) that is one of my favorite things. On it is the simple message "Life is Uncertain, Eat Dessert First". I am one of those people who lives this to the fullest. Always looking for immediate gratification, always using the good things in my life, always thinking about today and leaving tomorrow for tomorrow. Think Holly Golightly in "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Do I believe this to be the best course of action? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.  I do believe this philosophy of life is a reaction to the events of a person's life plus their basic disposition. In general it is probably healthier when balanced with reality or the opposite pillow which would probably read, "Life is Long, Prepare for the Journey."

That being said there are times when it makes sense to go for the gusto and not wait for the rainy day.

Here are a few:
1. If you have lump crab meat and back fin crab meat in your fridge use them both equally. Don't save the lump meat for later. One it will spoil and two you are worth the good stuff. I think this goes equal for the good wine, champagne, china, silver, etc.. Spoil Yourself because no one else will.

2. Make your house as wonderful as you would if you were trying to sell it to someone else. What are you waiting for? Live in the best surroundings you can afford.

3. Reach out to your friends or spend time alone - do the things that matter to you now. It's not being selfish. If we take care of ourselves we can give more to those around us.

4. Do what you love and love what you do. Don't be afraid of change, to try something new, to follow through with an idea or a hunch. Let go of things that run their course.

4. And please eat dessert first sometimes. You won't spoil anything.

"After all, tomorrow is another day."
Magda

Queen Mother Sunshine

One day when my kids were younger I had reached the limit of hearing my favorite word, mom.  I announced to my kids that I had changed my name. I got their attention.  They stopped with their barrage of, "Mom, can I’s" and "Mom, he’s"… and "MO-OM’s." Once they realized I was serious they asked me to tell them my new name.  I simply said no, that my new name was a secret.

Their reaction was completely unexpected. My youngest, who was 6 at the time, FREAKED OUT!  She started crying and said could not imagine what she would do if she could not get my attention.  My oldest, who was 11, looked at me suddenly realizing I was serious and looked a little worried. My middle child, who was 7, actually looked like he was interested in what I was saying. They all started asking, well really demanding, that I tell them my new name.

When you want to get your kids to just stop talking for a minute and give your brain a chance to process all their questions, problems, and news you’d better have a plan.  I had no plan so I turned it all in to a game, I told them they had to guess my new name.  Truthfully, I don’t remember any of their guesses but I do remember that they were pretty funny and for the rest of the car ride home we were laughing and talking.  The complaining and bickering had ended and we were just having fun.

I love the word Mom.  I always wanted to be a mom.  I always dreamed of having children and spending time with them, watching them grow and sharing life with them.  But just like everything in life, including chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, when you get too much of anything it can just be too much! And at that moment in time I had reached my limit.

When we finally pulled up in the driveway and the kids had not guessed my name, and I do think someone had actually guessed Rumpelstiltskin, I knew I could not get out of the car without giving them a name.  I thought about it and on the spot I told them my new name was, “Queen Mother Sunshine”. 

For the rest of the day the kids remembered that I would not answer to mom and they would say, “Oh, Queen Mother Sunshine”, every time they wanted something. 

Looking back this is one of my favorite moments with my kids.  And, even though I did not mean to do so at the time, I think I taught them something. I don’t know if they learned to have fun, remembered to be more respectful or to just look at things differently but I do know that every now and then when one of them recognizes that they have pushed me to the limit they stop, smile, look at me and simply, sweetly say, “Oh, Queen Mother Sunshine.”  
Now if one of them would just buy me a tiara.
Magda

Words of Remembrance

I feel an important way to honor our wonderful mother is to share her story.

She lived 91 full years and her story is important. I believe everyone's story is important because we all touch the lives of the people around us. The actions our mother took in her lifetime touched so many people and she really did make a difference in the world. My hope is by sharing her story she can become an inspiration to others. I believe it would be selfish to keep her, her story, all to myself so I share these words of remembrance with you all in the hopes she may inspire you, us all, to be the best people we can be and to realize we have the Freedom to make a difference.

In many ways I relate to these words spoken by Abraham Lincoln, "All that I am or hope to be I owe to my mother." 

The Story of Roza Nowotarska/Rose Kobylinski

Our mother, Rose, was an extraordinary woman.  Known to many as Roza Nowotarska, or Mama Rose, or to her family as Zaiska - Her brave spirit, determination and constant quest for truth and justice were an inspiration to many and especially to us.

On December 13, 1981 many people in Poland heard about the declaration of Martial Law from a Polish American woman sitting at her desk in the offices of Voice of America - broadcasting the news, the truth, to the people living in a country in crisis.  It has been said that while Lech Walesa was in prison he wrote on the wall of his prison cell, “God Bless Roza Nowotarska.”

Born December 18, 1920 in Krakow, Poland the third of four children Mom always knew she wanted to be a journalist and she loved the theater. She acted in her first play at the age of six and wrote her first book at the age of 16. During World War II she was part of the Underground Drama School in Krakow, whose membership also included a young Karol Wojtyla, who later became Pope John Paul II.

During the War Mom helped Poles of the Jewish faith escape the Germans and fearing persecution herself at the end of the war she fled Poland to Austria and then to Regensburg, Germany. In September 1949 Mom, along with our father and a young Rosie, came to the United States where mom began a new life of writing, radio journalism, theater, and art. First settling in Detroit, Michigan she was active in the Polish Community - starting a Polish Radio Station, writing for many Polish newspapers and spreading Polish Culture. 

Mom came to Washington in 1964 to begin a career with Voice of America (VOA).  During her 23 year tenure she served as translator, broadcaster, and producer for the Polish Desk.  She was known for her strength in reporting, her beliefs in freedom, and for introducing country music to the people of Poland. She fought hard for women’s rights including equal pay, hours and ranking within the United States Government Agencies.  She took the US Government to court where she won a landmark employment discrimination case that laid the groundwork for a two decade battle against the US Government which resulted in a win of the largest employment discrimination award in the history of the Civil Rights Act; She paved the way for many women today and they benefit from the fights our mom fought and the battles she won.

During her lifetime mom authored many books in Polish and wrote numerous articles for Polish and émigré newspapers, journals and magazines. After her retirement in 1987 she continued to write and began painting in the traditional Polish style of Painting on Glass. She interviewed actors, Country Music stars, and met with sitting US Presidents.  At a White House Press briefing with President Clinton, prior to his first visit to Poland, mom corrected President Clinton on the location of Poland stating that the country was in Central Europe and not in Eastern Europe. During his next term at another briefing when the President again began to say Eastern Europe, mom raised her hand and he looked at her and said, “Yes, Rose, I remember, Poland is in Central Europe”

If you Google Roza Nowotarska these are the descriptions that come up – Polish American, journalist, author, translator, reporter, poet, painter and exile activist. To think of mom as a rebel, an extreme patriot and a dangerous activist seems crazy but it in many ways it was true. She was all those things and then some.  She took on the Soviet Government in Poland and the US Government in Washington in her fights for what she believed was right and just.

Our mother taught us many lessons.  She taught us to be compassionate.  Our house was always filled with people who could not be with their families especially over the holidays.  She taught us to be generous – She was always sending packages to our family and friends in Poland. She taught us to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and, more importantly, to stand up for ourselves.  Most of all, our mother taught us to love unconditionally.  She loved each of us, my sisters and I, completely and unconditionally. We always knew she was there for us, that she would fight for us.

Today we celebrate mom’s life. She loved her family and gave us girls everything she could. She was a voracious reader, she was always current on the news reading the papers before dawn and watching CNN at Sunset. She loved listening to music, and hearing the laughter of her children and especially her grandchildren.  Mom’s happiest moments were when we were all together and she could just should sit and watch us interact.

At the end of her life our mother taught us how to live with grace. She thanked you for everything you did for her. She would always tell you she felt “excellent” and when we asked how she was doing she would always say, “Better now that I see you.”

So mom thanks for everything. You raised us up when we were down. You listened when we were worried. You eased our burdens and gave us strength. You were always there for us. We love you.

Magda