I am in the midst of teaching our 16 year old son how to drive. I will break down this sentence to give a mental picture of how this is going so far.I - Me. A Middle Aged, Menopausal (or as I like to say Mental-Pausal)Women, who at any given time could be described as - Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho (Emphasis on the silent P)
Am in the Midst Of - Daringly putting my life into the hands of a boy who cannot find both shoes in the morning.
Teaching - Banging on the dashboard screaming my head off as my life flashes before me.
Our - The use of this pronoun is merely a formality out of respect to the child's father but in reality whenever my husband asks me how the driving is going I respond with, "I think YOUR son is secretly trying to take me down."
16 Year Old Son - Anyone living with or having lived through the experience of having one of these Beings in their presence knows that they are Omnipotent and therefore are not apt to taking instruction well from a person they deem as completely incompetent.
How To - How can you teach a human "How To" do anything when they already know everything - "I KNOW MOM, GEEZ, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, I MEAN YOU HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME 100 TIMES TO SLOW DOWN." (Standard response, "If you already know then why are you still DRIVING TOO FAST?")
Drive - The Control and Operation of a Motor Vehicle (while a woman who used to cut the crust off your bread and still does all your laundry has turned into a raving lunatic)
Next Week : It's called a Blinker, Use It!
Buckle Up!
Magda
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