It Happened Today

“Don't wish me happiness
I don't expect to be happy all the time...
It's gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor.
I will need them all.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea


Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Looking Back With Feet Pointed Forward

New Years Eve. Three words that drum up all sorts of images and emotions. Champagne. Parties. Friends. Family. Reflections. Remembrances. Regrets. New Beginnings. Balls Dropping. Fireworks. Sadness. Gladness. Auld Lang Syne. And many more.

This year it's been a day of reflection.

January 2013 feels like a long time ago.  The year has been been a busy one of which a lot was accomplished and a lot was left to be done. Not one to make New Year's Resolutions beyond trying to take advantage of every day and being a better person - truly this is not a stock Miss America answer for me - I have to laugh at all the things I know I did not get to in 2013. I did not eat more super foods, read more books, watch less TV, exercise more, eat fewer sweets, write more, paint any pieces of furniture, or knock anything off a bucket list (that I really don't have anyway so that's okay), the list of "not dones" is endless.

2013 was a year when our family lost a very good friend. Suddenly gone. The loss of this friend made all the things that didn't get done seem inconsequential. The song Auld Lang Syne, a Scottish song whose title translates to "times gone by" is about remembering friends from the past and not letting them be forgotten.  This sentiment is an incredibly strong one this year.

My mother used to tell us to keep our feet pointed forward. The past is gone and the future unwritten. It is on the strength of friends and family passed and present that I find the strength to do as my mother said. It is with this in mind that the path towards 2014 is paved. Feet pointed forward while not forgetting. 2014 may be another year of bad eating and too much Real Housewives but it will also be a year full of gratitude for each day and being mindful to remember.

Happy New Year to all of you and yours.

Peace.
Magda

Sunday, December 29, 2013

The Big Picture

It is true there are people in the world who are big picture people. I, for one, am not one of them. I am usually a day to day minute by minute person.  This changed slightly when I had children. When I say slightly I mean it has changed slightly every day since our first child was born a little over 21 years ago.

The effect of this change has made me feel a little like this...



Truth be told what has really made me feel this way du jour is the college application process.  To those of you with a high school senior sitting at home right now writing their college applications with a January 1st deadline you probably know exactly how this feels. To those of you who have high school seniors who are already done with their applications and have been accepted to their school of choice - Congratulations! Keep reading if you want to know how the other half lives. (plus your cartoon is probably prettier)

This is where the Big Picture Philosophy comes into play.  I keep hearing, "You have to look at the Big Picture."  That's it.  The Big Picture. It's exhausting to someone like me - a die hard instant gratification eat desert first - type person.  The Big Picture I see is having this child sitting on my couch come fall looking for the X-Box cord (which I have hidden until the applications are complete) leaving the shoes in the front hall and milk on the counter for the rest of my life! It's a grim paint-by-number gigantic picture that keeps me up at night.

My day-by-day optimistic self keeps me going and has me thinking, it will all get done. 

If I consider the Big Picture this child no more wants to be at home in the fall than to see me show up at school with cookies as a birthday celebration. Of course the applications will get done. After all the child has learned to use the potty, tie shoes, ride a bike, and drive a car. This will get figured out too. Hopefully before 11:59 January 1, 2014!

Cheers!
Magda

The cartoon was found on the website The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia 
It inspired me to write this post. Although my child does not have dyslexia many children do as do many grown ups.  If you have experience with dyslexia in your family or know of another family that could use guidance please check out this website http://thebigpicturemovie.com or find them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheBigPictureRethinkingDyslexia


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Greatness: It's Within Us All

There are leaders and then there are people who change the course of history for an entire nation. Heard this today on CBS Sunday Morning, "Nelson Mandela is the George Washington for the people of South Africa. He is the founder of their country." This statement took my breath away. Why this statement? Possibly because of the magnitude of it.

The lessons learned from the life of Nelson Mandela are too plentiful to sum up. Hopefully his life story has touched everyone in some way.

Raising children who are about to embark on their own journeys and strike their own paths has made the following most significant. These words are very powerful.

Let is all remember Greatness is within us all.

I found this posted on Facebook by The Purpose Fairy. Want to give credit where credit is due:  http://www.purposefairy.com

Peace.
Magda

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

When Eyes Are Watching

This year most of my friends and I turn 50. This means we were born in 1963, the year the unimaginable happened.  We were too young to feel the impact of the assassination of John F. Kennedy but we, like so many, have a connection to the event.

The events of November 22, 1963 became part of our story.

"What year were you born?"
"1963"
"The year they killed Jack Kennedy."

We grew up learning about President Kennedy, his beautiful wife, and his children Caroline and John - This beautiful young family and the tragic events that changed their lives and the country forever. The images have been around our whole lives.

Admittedly, when I was growing up I did not realize how young Jacqueline Kennedy was when she was First Lady. I knew they were all young. He was the youngest President. She his young wife.  Their children so young.

Jackie Kennedy was 31 when she became First Lady and 34 when JFK died.  This revelation stunned me.  It wasn't until I was 31, in 1994 the year Jacqueline Kennedy died, that the full impact of what she dealt with came into clear focus. Home with a two year old baby and a government working husband I started thinking about how all those young mothers must have felt in 1963. Looking at her. Watching her. Her heart broken. How composed she was.

When all eyes were watching she was able to stand tall, stay focused, keep her composure.  How?  Who knows - but she did.  When faced with the unthinkable she was able to do the unimaginable.  This has had an incredible impact on my life.  So many years after those events I think to myself if she could get through those days with that much grace maybe I can find a way to try to handle things better.

We never know who will impact our lives or whose life we will effect. The world will never be watching me but my own three kids have and do everyday.  Every day 22 pairs of eyes watch everything I do. I try to remember the example of Jackie Kennedy.  Well, sometimes I forget but mostly I remember.

The 50th Anniversary of that Day in Dallas is a good time to stop and recommit to being mindful of our actions and reactions to events, to news, and to the daily dramas of life.  It's a good day to remember.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

May We Never Forget


Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this 
continent, a new nation, conceived in


Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.



Abraham Lincoln

November 19, 1863

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Time

Passing of time. For the first time in four months I am returning to writing.

During the period of time since I last visited this blog time has gotten away from me.  Life has been on an accelerated pace and there has not been enough time in the day to do all the things that needed to get done. My guess is everyone has felt this way at one time or another in their lives.

During the period of time since I last visited this blog I have moved, renovated a house, travelled back to Poland for a visit, started a full time job as a second grade teacher, helped (well tried to at least) my son apply to college, fed hungry swimmers, and tried to remember to feed my own family.

During the period of time since I last visited this blog I have barely had enough time to keep up with friends, remember important dates, get any exercise, watch tv, read a book, feed my family, write, you probably get the picture...

During the period of time since I last visited this blog I have read about a friend who chose to have preventative double mastectomy surgery because she was afraid she wouldn't have the gift of time. I read about how a brave mother who lost her entire family in a fire found a way to move forward, probably wishing to go back in time. I have looked at my own senior in high school son while on a college visit and wondered "Where has the time gone?"

During this time of year as people in our country prepare to give thanks and people around the world prepare to spend time with loved ones, friends, and family all hoping to have a good time I am hoping to remember to be thankful for the gift of time. I may not always use it wisely or remember to be present as it passes me by but at least for the time being I have it and am hoping to have more of it.

Time like love is a gift. Embrace it. Remember it. Be mindful of how it is used. Catch it when it gets away and enjoy it!

Thanks for taking the time to read.
Magda

Monday, July 15, 2013

Amy the Unicorn


My sister-in-law sent me a video with one sentence, "I just loved this." Nothing else. No description of what it was, who was in it, etc. She has wonderful taste and is not someone who is constantly sending messages like this so I figured it would be worth watching. Time ran away from me and it took a couple of days to see the clip. In those days both my mother-in-law and my other sister-in-law also chimed in saying they loved the clip as well.  These women all have wonderful taste (and I don't just write that to get favorite daughter-in-law status or brownie points, it is actually true).  Their responses further enticed me to watch the clip.

The clip features Shawn Achor, a motivational speaker who has a great message and a wicked good sense of humor.

The clip has received 4,611,027 views on Ted.com. So don't just take my word for it. If you have the time click on the link below. Hopefully you will be glad you did.


Happy Monday,
Magda

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Reaction Action

Life isn't always about how we act but also about how we react to things.  I find myself not engaging with people as quickly as I used to because I am thinking to myself if their comments or actions actually require or deserve a reaction or a response.

It seems like a daunting task really - but actions and reactions go hand in hand. Our reactions are also actions that we take. 

When we choose to react to the person biting our head off or flicking us off on the road we are choosing to feed into their crazy. Avoiding the confrontation isn't wimpy it's smart. Some things are worth ignoring, thanks mom I finally figured THAT out! Not Reacting or reacting with silence is often a stronger response.

Reactions are our responses to things that affect us. They are and can be seen as a reflection of who we are and what we are feeling. Sometimes we let our reactions give a false picture of who we truly are and then spend time fretting about how we could have portrayed ourselves differently. I have found this is true when I am defensive in my response - this comes out especially if I am over tired.

Lately there has been much written about mindfulness. Choosing to respond rather than to react is an art that requires us to be mindful. The article below from Thin Difference seems to help put this in perspective.


Since I can't walk around and hand this out to every person who entices me to react in a way I wish I had not and until I successfully develop mindfulness I was thinking of printing a sign that I could flip out of my purse or pocket that simply says:

 "I am respectfully but deliberately 
choosing not to react or respond to you."


Of course sometimes I really wish I could hand them a sign that says something completely different...but that sign I will keep in my mind.

Respectfully,
Magda

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Be Stronger than the Tribe

There is one thing that keeps presenting itself to me time after time, Although it's nice to be part of a tribe at anytime the tribe might turn on you and send you, like an outcast, into the wild. Usually when you need your tribe the most.

It happens to people in their lives over and over again. You might think you are safe with a certain group of friends or with your colleagues at work but all of a sudden, out of no where the tribe attacks sending you on a downward spiral of self doubt and isolation. Why?, What did I do? I didn't mean it that way? And there you are feeling shunned, unappreciated, and alone.

We have seen this in literature, think Scarlet Letter. There was Hester Prynne, pregnant and alone, in a world of judgement and ridiculous Puritan beliefs. She was wronged and if you have read the book, which I highly recommend, you know it. She is stronger than the tribe. If you have not read the book or if you cannot get past Hawthorne's Old English style of writing (or is that Olde) then watch the movie Easy A with Emma Stone. It is a witty film about the perils of Tribe Life. It takes place in High School where bad Tribe Behavior is at its peak. It's dialogue is funny and The Tribe eats it in the end. In both book and movie the heroines stare down The Tribe. They stand up for themselves.

The way to beat the Tribe. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Be true to your self. Be authentic.
We cannot control Tribe mentality but we can control our own sense of self away from The Tribe. Look for a new Tribe. One less judgmental. One more forgiving. Be a Tribe of one for awhile. A renewed sense of self gives strength to stare down the people who are harmful in your life and helps to make way to find the ones that appreciate your talents and gifts.

Strength sometimes does not come in numbers but comes from within and from the truth of our own convictions.

Be good to yourselves.

Magda

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1282140/

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Middle

Have you ever watched the TV Show "The Middle" with Patricia Heaton?  I watch it every now and then when my life slows down enough to allow me to sit still for 30 minutes.

On May 22nd all the stars aligned and I was able to catch the season finale titled, "The Graduation." The show stars Patricia Heaton (From Everybody Loves Ray) as the mom, Frankie. She is hysterical. In this episode in particular she is smack in the middle of trying to hold on to the things she thinks she can control and trying to let go of the things she can't.  And really with kids you can't control much.

In this episode the oldest son is graduating from High School and at one point he and his mother get into a fight about the color of socks he is wearing. I have the where-with-all to call my 17 year old son into the room to watch with me.
Photo Courtesy of Esquire

Frankie (mom): "You cannot wear those white socks with your dress pants."
Axl (son): "Yes I can and I am. You can't make me change them."
Frankie: "Oh, yes I can and I will." At this point she hurdles herself on to her son's back as he is walking out the door, tackles him, and begins to strip off his shoes and socks.

I started laughing hysterically and looked over at my son who was shaking his head and smiling. (by the way I haven't seen him crack a smile in months) No words really needed to be said at that point because we both knew that we could have played out the same scene. The show was over and my son slowly got up off the couch, all 6'5" of him, and said, "Mom, I don't think you are so crazy to think you could tackle me and I probably won't be wearing any socks to graduation so you won't need to try."

Welcome to my life!

Happy Friday.
Magda

Here is the link to the episode if you find yourself with some extra time.
http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-middle/episode-guide/episode-424-the-graduation


Friday, May 17, 2013

Be Safe

It has been a busy spring where I have been spending more time writing and reading for school (more on that in a later post) and have had no time to write here. 

I have had time to keep up with what others are writing and sharing. 

This poem was shared on Mother's Day by my dear high school friend. It was written by the mother of another friend and sums up what believably all parents want to say to their children. 

I pass this along keeping in mind that so many are experiencing graduations, milestone birthdays, and summer adventures with their loved ones and that some, who have lost their battles with life ending diseases, wish they were still physically around to repeat this message every day.


BE SAFE
By Helen Cabrera


You’re feeling your oats.

Graduation has made you heady.
Youth is conveyed by your smile.
The world is your oyster,
Celebrate your future.

But,


Please be safe.

Take time to make good decisions.
Fast turns can lead to disaster.
You do not have the right to crash.
Your body is a projection of me.
I am yours, you are mine.
Remember that.

When you tripped as a little child,

I gathered you in my arms.
Wiping your tears,
I told you to be careful.
Now, I am telling you:

Be Safe.


You are my legacy.

You are what I leave when I leave.
Your future will make my past work.
Take care of that body,
Open that mind,
You are what I treasure.
Do not treat my treasure casually.

Do not party till no end.

Do not push too hard on the pedal.
Do not compromise yourself,
Morally or financially.

Reaching maturity is a stretch.

It must be done with patience.
It will be attained with much agony.
Choices to be made, must be made
To advance, but be cautious.
You are special,
You belong to me.

Take care of that body,

Beware of pitfalls.
Go forward with joy,
Fear not.
Know my love will go with you.

Because,

You know I love you.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sing Your Song

This question has been rattling around in my brain for awhile, "What is my purpose?"

Then the other day my daughter asked, "Why are we here?" "What is the purpose of this life?" I asked my husband, the closest thing to omnipotence I could find in a hurry, and his response was, "Who the (insert word that rhymes with duck) knows?"

I few moments later I walked into the living room and saw a pair of shoes lying on the couch (no joke), an empty yogurt container on the floor, and the TV on. After screaming down to my 17 year old to come and pick up after himself I swiftly turned to my daughter and said, "I think I am here for the sole purpose to nag your brother - and he is here, clearly, for the sole purpose to drive me crazy." Well at least we have each other.

The questions continue to rattle around in my brain. It's comforting to know that I am not alone with these questions. Everyone is asking them, right? 

 Everyone's life has a purpose. Our purpose is multi-layered and changes over time, as do we. That's what keeps life interesting. It's possible that we get stuck in thinking that our purpose has to be grand. It doesn't have to be and we don't have to know all the answers.

"The bird does not sing because it has the answer, it sings because it has a song."

We each have a song and i has many verses. (I choose mine to be sung by Colm Wilkinson* because he could sing the phone book and move me into action) Everyone's song is different. Some songs are for the world to hear and some are for our ears only. And that's okay. The thing is to brave enough to go out and sing! 

And maybe one day we will all be able to say to ourselves, "I am doing what I am supposed to be doing." 

If you can think it,
You can dream it.
If you are willing to do the work,
You can have it!
Whatever IT may be...

Start Singing.
Magda
*In case you don't know who Colm Wilkinson is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsYnhVITf9E

Monday, February 25, 2013

My Dance Card is Full

Well, it's official, I am no longer the least bit "cool" in the eyes of my children. I admit this has probably been the case for quite some time. Not only am I not cool I am actually "really old" too. Their words not mine.

See over the course of the past couple of months my kids have been letting me know just how uncool and old I actually am. I have been told I must spell out everything when I text. In a  recent text to my oldest son I wrote, "I love u". His reply, "Spell out yr words. Yr a big girl." I guess he's got the do as I say not as I do lesson down. My middle son was even more direct. He recently asked me to do something for him and my reply was, "Okee-Dokee." He was quick to tell me, "You should stop saying that." He was kind enough to add, "You should also never say, Wakey-Wakey Rise and Shine" or Oopsadaisies, either."

My daughter is a little more subtle. While hosting a let's get dressed together, make-up session and pre-dance dinner at our house she and her friends were playing music and dancing around. A fun song came on and I began singing. She walked into the kitchen looked at me and just shook her head. An "Ah NO" look came on her face - the one with the raised eyebrows and mouth to the side smirk. I awkwardly laughed it off and slunk into another room feeling frumpy, old, and out of place. I did pour myself a Margarita first and took it in the room with me - I haven't lost all sense of myself. In addition I am also no longer supposed to say, "My Dance Card is Full", because no one knows what the heck that phrase means. No one says "smidge" any more, as in, "I'll just have a smidge of Ice Cream." It's also completely uncool for me to say "Dude". Apparently it makes me sound stupid.

I want to respect my children's wishes so I am considering tempering my language and actions. Their message really may be, "Please don't speak to us anymore at all but please do continue to do our laundry, make our meals, and drive us everywhere." It's so sad. I was convinced my kids would never get sick of me being around.

So the other day when my son asked me to do something for him I shook my head, gave him a mouth to the side smirk and said, "Sorry Dude - My Dance Card is Full", I then dropped my keys and with a quick, "Oopsidaisies",  picked them up and was out the door. (Without even a smidge of worry about what he and his sister were going to make themselves for dinner.)

Watch this for more parenting fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_NspDWssIY

Magda

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Happy Birthday Norman Rockwell

Today would have been Norman Rockwell's 119th Birthday. Now it's probable that Norman Rockwell would not have wanted to live to be 119 Years old but I believe it to be true that his spirit has never died.

Norman Rockwell portrayed life with affection and good humor. Many times I find myself saying, "Now that is a Norman Rockwell moment."  Thanks to the iPhone I try to capture these moments whenever I can.

In Norman Rockwell's own words he "Never used a professional model." He captured every day life with every day people. He captured life's wonderfully funny moments and traditions. He captured important social issues of his time. I often wonder what would he capture in this new century. Life seemed so simple in his pictures. Is it still?


Norman Rockwell was brave enough to paint Ruby Bridges. Would he take on issues such as immigration or gun control? I wish he were around to answer this question. His quaint pictures were thought provoking. Simple but powerful messages.

Here are some links for more information on Normal Rockwell:
/http://www.biography.com/people/norman-rockwell-37249
http://www.nrm.org/

Thank you Mr. Rockwell. I wish you had more time to paint all the pictures you wanted to paint.



Magda



Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Make it a Happy New Year

At a time when most people are dropping the ball on their New Year's Resolutions I have to admit I am just getting started. Being a Last Minute Lucy I procrastinated on my list. The list has but one item on it and that is to be Happy!

There are no big happenings planned to achieve this goal. No changes in job, marital status, or dwelling. I welcome changes in body image or just body but am not putting all my happiness eggs in the basket of whether I can shed the extra twenty pounds that have stuck to my body like some extra adhesive super glue.

Instead the hope is that being happy lies within me and the small decisions that are made every day, in forgiving myself when I fall off the happiness wagon, and in finding an easier way to get back on track without letting others keep me off too long.

It could be all about awareness and being still long enough to not react in an unhappy way. The world is full of instants. Everything has to happen in an instant and immediately or something may be missed. What is missing is the time to process thoughts or develop long term plans. Sometimes magic moments are missed because too little time is spent thinking something through. It's hard to keep one's eyes wide open to see what's ahead of us if we don't have time to take it all in. And then there are other people who want to mess with your happiness. Don't give your power of being happy over to someone else. Most of how people behave or what they say is more about them then about you anyway. Don't let another persons behavior mess with your happiness.

Reverend James Martin, S.J. wrote in America Magazine that "There are five things you can do to be happier."
1. Be Kind.
2. Relax a little bit more.
3. Be a little bit more Grateful.
4. Enjoy Nature More.
5. Pray just a tiny bit more

What ever it takes to be happy choose it over the alternative. There are things that make us sad and it's hard to be happy when we are grieving or when other people are hell bent on making us miserable. It's important to find out what helps us during these times and return to ourselves. This is my resolution for a Happy New Year, this year and every year to come.

So here it is the one item on my Resolution List: Be Happy. If none of this works I can always watch Caddyshack or an episode of Modern Family. Nothing makes me happier than a good laugh!

Magda