Back to Writing - A Sentimental Journey

It's hard sometimes, to return to something. It's especially hard when there is no real good reason you stopped. Are good reasons the same as excuses?  I can never really seem to tell the difference between the two.

The best I can determine is sometimes life gets in the way.  When this happens it seems that doing the things that could be considered leisure activities, including the things we love, take a back seat to the more important day-to-day things that come along.  Since I last wrote on this blog two more children have gone through the college process, a new job has been started, and a number of dear friends have passed.  Life has thrown us a couple of curve balls that even the best hitter in the league would whiff.  There have been happy and sad times.  Basically life has happened.  I let life get in the way of doing many things that I love such as spending time with good friends, showing up for events, and writing, just to name a few.

To get back to writing I have taken a journey through previous posts, notebooks of half written essays and pieces of paper with topics and dates written on them.  By pieces of paper I mean things such as receipts, church bulletins, napkins, Starbuck cup wraps, and meeting notes.  All of these things have given me the thought that I wanted to write but have been too distracted by life to finish the task.

That's Dad looking dapper in red.
The girl on the bottom right is my sister, Rosie.

As life has been trying - being way too busy and feeling quite lost have been my predominant state of mind.  I have spent much of the last two years thinking about, actually longing for, my parents, especially these past few months. What would they say?  What advice would they give? What I wouldn't give just to be in their presence and feel safe.Just to hear their voices again.

Along came today and I re-realized a couple of things.
1. My parents are around all the time.
2. Life is Beautiful.
3. Life is Difficult.
4. Staying away from things you love is not good for the soul.
5. And the best of all - I have my dad's voice on my phone in my iTunes Playlist.

What a great day! How lucky!  My dad recorded a couple of albums and one is preserved through the Smithsonian and can be down loaded on iTunes.  I kept thinking, if only I could hear my parent's voice it would give me such joy.  Joy. The thing I lost the most.

Just like the gift of life itself I am listening to my dad's album as I write this post. His young, beautiful voice singing away. Listening to it is reminding me that my parent's journey was interrupted and life got hard.  They both found their way back to the things they loved, things such as singing for my dad and writing and painting for my mom.  They also both loved the beach and made time to get there. They had to persevere through difficult times and let things go that were out of their control. They both recreated themselves many times.  They both did things they loved and did them with much Joy.

It has been quite a journey to get me to where I am now.  Who knows what's in store.  I do know that things will be what they will be and when the journey becomes too sentimental and the road too hard I can once again find comfort in the beautiful voice of my father while looking at one of my mother's paintings. In hopes of leading me to again find the joy in life.

Hope you find your joy.
Magda

http://www.folkways.si.edu/leszek-kobylinski-with-jan-wojnar-and-his-ensemble/sentimental-journey-to-poland/world/music/album/smithsonian

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/sentimental-journey-to-poland/id276149871