Eat Dessert First

I have one of those embroidered pillows at my house (I believe this dates me) that is one of my favorite things. On it is the simple message "Life is Uncertain, Eat Dessert First". I am one of those people who lives this to the fullest. Always looking for immediate gratification, always using the good things in my life, always thinking about today and leaving tomorrow for tomorrow. Think Holly Golightly in "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Do I believe this to be the best course of action? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.  I do believe this philosophy of life is a reaction to the events of a person's life plus their basic disposition. In general it is probably healthier when balanced with reality or the opposite pillow which would probably read, "Life is Long, Prepare for the Journey."

That being said there are times when it makes sense to go for the gusto and not wait for the rainy day.

Here are a few:
1. If you have lump crab meat and back fin crab meat in your fridge use them both equally. Don't save the lump meat for later. One it will spoil and two you are worth the good stuff. I think this goes equal for the good wine, champagne, china, silver, etc.. Spoil Yourself because no one else will.

2. Make your house as wonderful as you would if you were trying to sell it to someone else. What are you waiting for? Live in the best surroundings you can afford.

3. Reach out to your friends or spend time alone - do the things that matter to you now. It's not being selfish. If we take care of ourselves we can give more to those around us.

4. Do what you love and love what you do. Don't be afraid of change, to try something new, to follow through with an idea or a hunch. Let go of things that run their course.

4. And please eat dessert first sometimes. You won't spoil anything.

"After all, tomorrow is another day."
Magda

Queen Mother Sunshine

One day when my kids were younger I had reached the limit of hearing my favorite word, mom.  I announced to my kids that I had changed my name. I got their attention.  They stopped with their barrage of, "Mom, can I’s" and "Mom, he’s"… and "MO-OM’s." Once they realized I was serious they asked me to tell them my new name.  I simply said no, that my new name was a secret.

Their reaction was completely unexpected. My youngest, who was 6 at the time, FREAKED OUT!  She started crying and said could not imagine what she would do if she could not get my attention.  My oldest, who was 11, looked at me suddenly realizing I was serious and looked a little worried. My middle child, who was 7, actually looked like he was interested in what I was saying. They all started asking, well really demanding, that I tell them my new name.

When you want to get your kids to just stop talking for a minute and give your brain a chance to process all their questions, problems, and news you’d better have a plan.  I had no plan so I turned it all in to a game, I told them they had to guess my new name.  Truthfully, I don’t remember any of their guesses but I do remember that they were pretty funny and for the rest of the car ride home we were laughing and talking.  The complaining and bickering had ended and we were just having fun.

I love the word Mom.  I always wanted to be a mom.  I always dreamed of having children and spending time with them, watching them grow and sharing life with them.  But just like everything in life, including chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, when you get too much of anything it can just be too much! And at that moment in time I had reached my limit.

When we finally pulled up in the driveway and the kids had not guessed my name, and I do think someone had actually guessed Rumpelstiltskin, I knew I could not get out of the car without giving them a name.  I thought about it and on the spot I told them my new name was, “Queen Mother Sunshine”. 

For the rest of the day the kids remembered that I would not answer to mom and they would say, “Oh, Queen Mother Sunshine”, every time they wanted something. 

Looking back this is one of my favorite moments with my kids.  And, even though I did not mean to do so at the time, I think I taught them something. I don’t know if they learned to have fun, remembered to be more respectful or to just look at things differently but I do know that every now and then when one of them recognizes that they have pushed me to the limit they stop, smile, look at me and simply, sweetly say, “Oh, Queen Mother Sunshine.”  
Now if one of them would just buy me a tiara.
Magda

Words of Remembrance

I feel an important way to honor our wonderful mother is to share her story.

She lived 91 full years and her story is important. I believe everyone's story is important because we all touch the lives of the people around us. The actions our mother took in her lifetime touched so many people and she really did make a difference in the world. My hope is by sharing her story she can become an inspiration to others. I believe it would be selfish to keep her, her story, all to myself so I share these words of remembrance with you all in the hopes she may inspire you, us all, to be the best people we can be and to realize we have the Freedom to make a difference.

In many ways I relate to these words spoken by Abraham Lincoln, "All that I am or hope to be I owe to my mother." 

The Story of Roza Nowotarska/Rose Kobylinski

Our mother, Rose, was an extraordinary woman.  Known to many as Roza Nowotarska, or Mama Rose, or to her family as Zaiska - Her brave spirit, determination and constant quest for truth and justice were an inspiration to many and especially to us.

On December 13, 1981 many people in Poland heard about the declaration of Martial Law from a Polish American woman sitting at her desk in the offices of Voice of America - broadcasting the news, the truth, to the people living in a country in crisis.  It has been said that while Lech Walesa was in prison he wrote on the wall of his prison cell, “God Bless Roza Nowotarska.”

Born December 18, 1920 in Krakow, Poland the third of four children Mom always knew she wanted to be a journalist and she loved the theater. She acted in her first play at the age of six and wrote her first book at the age of 16. During World War II she was part of the Underground Drama School in Krakow, whose membership also included a young Karol Wojtyla, who later became Pope John Paul II.

During the War Mom helped Poles of the Jewish faith escape the Germans and fearing persecution herself at the end of the war she fled Poland to Austria and then to Regensburg, Germany. In September 1949 Mom, along with our father and a young Rosie, came to the United States where mom began a new life of writing, radio journalism, theater, and art. First settling in Detroit, Michigan she was active in the Polish Community - starting a Polish Radio Station, writing for many Polish newspapers and spreading Polish Culture. 

Mom came to Washington in 1964 to begin a career with Voice of America (VOA).  During her 23 year tenure she served as translator, broadcaster, and producer for the Polish Desk.  She was known for her strength in reporting, her beliefs in freedom, and for introducing country music to the people of Poland. She fought hard for women’s rights including equal pay, hours and ranking within the United States Government Agencies.  She took the US Government to court where she won a landmark employment discrimination case that laid the groundwork for a two decade battle against the US Government which resulted in a win of the largest employment discrimination award in the history of the Civil Rights Act; She paved the way for many women today and they benefit from the fights our mom fought and the battles she won.

During her lifetime mom authored many books in Polish and wrote numerous articles for Polish and émigré newspapers, journals and magazines. After her retirement in 1987 she continued to write and began painting in the traditional Polish style of Painting on Glass. She interviewed actors, Country Music stars, and met with sitting US Presidents.  At a White House Press briefing with President Clinton, prior to his first visit to Poland, mom corrected President Clinton on the location of Poland stating that the country was in Central Europe and not in Eastern Europe. During his next term at another briefing when the President again began to say Eastern Europe, mom raised her hand and he looked at her and said, “Yes, Rose, I remember, Poland is in Central Europe”

If you Google Roza Nowotarska these are the descriptions that come up – Polish American, journalist, author, translator, reporter, poet, painter and exile activist. To think of mom as a rebel, an extreme patriot and a dangerous activist seems crazy but it in many ways it was true. She was all those things and then some.  She took on the Soviet Government in Poland and the US Government in Washington in her fights for what she believed was right and just.

Our mother taught us many lessons.  She taught us to be compassionate.  Our house was always filled with people who could not be with their families especially over the holidays.  She taught us to be generous – She was always sending packages to our family and friends in Poland. She taught us to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and, more importantly, to stand up for ourselves.  Most of all, our mother taught us to love unconditionally.  She loved each of us, my sisters and I, completely and unconditionally. We always knew she was there for us, that she would fight for us.

Today we celebrate mom’s life. She loved her family and gave us girls everything she could. She was a voracious reader, she was always current on the news reading the papers before dawn and watching CNN at Sunset. She loved listening to music, and hearing the laughter of her children and especially her grandchildren.  Mom’s happiest moments were when we were all together and she could just should sit and watch us interact.

At the end of her life our mother taught us how to live with grace. She thanked you for everything you did for her. She would always tell you she felt “excellent” and when we asked how she was doing she would always say, “Better now that I see you.”

So mom thanks for everything. You raised us up when we were down. You listened when we were worried. You eased our burdens and gave us strength. You were always there for us. We love you.

Magda

Freedom To

Reflecting on a person's life is a daunting task. It doesn't matter how long a person lives.The time between the day of birth and the day of death is the time we have to develop our story. There is no telling how long we have. In a week's time I lost my 91 year old mother and I watched as a family grieved the loss of their two year old child. Ninety-one years is a long time and in that lifetime many chapters of a story are written. Two years is a short period of time but long enough to have a story and to make an impact on people.

It seems contrite and obvious to say each day is a precious gift. It seems foolish to realize how often we go through our day by day routines not remembering this one simple thing.  We know it we just don't always remember. These are the times we are reminded. Reminded that our story is being written every moment of every day.

Last month I heard an interview with Desmond Tutu where he spoke of freedom. He said that people have a tendency to look at life with a "Freedom From" mentality. He went on to say it is more productive to look at life with a "Freedom To" outlook. This struck a chord with me. In our lives we are blessed with the freedom to do just about anything and at anytime we can change our course. We have the power to write our story. We decide the impact we want to make in our lifetimes. We are given the gift every day to make decisions, some simple and some hard. We are given the freedom to move forward, to work towards something, to try something new or to keep doing what we love. We are given the freedom to take the bad things in our lives and make them good, to fight for what we know to be right and to have the courage to help people along the way. We have the freedom to move forward everyday, to release our fears, our animosities, our prejudices, our hate and to stand up for what we believe to be true, to be fair, to be just.

We have the freedom to write our story.

Magda