Reflecting on a person's life is a daunting task. It doesn't matter how long a person lives.The time between the day of birth and the day of death is the time we have to develop our story. There is no telling how long we have. In a week's time I lost my 91 year old mother and I watched as a family grieved the loss of their two year old child. Ninety-one years is a long time and in that lifetime many chapters of a story are written. Two years is a short period of time but long enough to have a story and to make an impact on people.
It seems contrite and obvious to say each day is a precious gift. It seems foolish to realize how often we go through our day by day routines not remembering this one simple thing. We know it we just don't always remember. These are the times we are reminded. Reminded that our story is being written every moment of every day.
Last month I heard an interview with Desmond Tutu where he spoke of freedom. He said that people have a tendency to look at life with a "Freedom From" mentality. He went on to say it is more productive to look at life with a "Freedom To" outlook. This struck a chord with me. In our lives we are blessed with the freedom to do just about anything and at anytime we can change our course. We have the power to write our story. We decide the impact we want to make in our lifetimes. We are given the gift every day to make decisions, some simple and some hard. We are given the freedom to move forward, to work towards something, to try something new or to keep doing what we love. We are given the freedom to take the bad things in our lives and make them good, to fight for what we know to be right and to have the courage to help people along the way. We have the freedom to move forward everyday, to release our fears, our animosities, our prejudices, our hate and to stand up for what we believe to be true, to be fair, to be just.
We have the freedom to write our story.
Magda
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Shift Happens
Life is full of stages or shifts. Almost from the day we are born we are shifting. Most shifts are easy going natural occurrences experienced without too much upheaval. We learn to become independent creatures in our youth. We shift away from our families towards our friends. We begin to make decisions on our own and learn to take ownership of the good and the bad, to deal with the consequences and move on hopefully changed from the knowledge of our experiences. We shift towards responsibility of a world bigger than our own myopic views and begin to see things on a more global level. These shifts usually rank low on the Richter Scale.
Then there are the shifts that are larger in scale: Moves, Job Changes, Marriage, Divorce, Sicknesses, Births and Deaths. These shifts happen and they can bring the house down. They are the shifts that require a different kind of inner strength. They mess with our equilibrium. Everything we have known shifts in such a way that we need to almost rebuild as a new person, a new neighbor, a new wife, a new mother. These shifts are exciting and celebrated.
When the shift is a loss the life we move into is also new, not a new life of our choosing all the time but a new life just the same. From this unasked for newness can come strength. Rebuilding oneself with the strength of the love of someone lost can make the shift easier. It's a day by day process of rebuilding and with any hope when shift happens again we'll be ready.
Magda
Then there are the shifts that are larger in scale: Moves, Job Changes, Marriage, Divorce, Sicknesses, Births and Deaths. These shifts happen and they can bring the house down. They are the shifts that require a different kind of inner strength. They mess with our equilibrium. Everything we have known shifts in such a way that we need to almost rebuild as a new person, a new neighbor, a new wife, a new mother. These shifts are exciting and celebrated.
When the shift is a loss the life we move into is also new, not a new life of our choosing all the time but a new life just the same. From this unasked for newness can come strength. Rebuilding oneself with the strength of the love of someone lost can make the shift easier. It's a day by day process of rebuilding and with any hope when shift happens again we'll be ready.
Magda
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Simple Words of Comfort
In times of personal struggles most of us turn to family and friends for comfort, support, counsel, relief. It can be hard to open up and share intimate personal details because it puts us in a state of vulnerability. Some people soldier on alone - bearing their struggles in solitude. The course is personal preference, neither one being right or wrong, just personal.
I am the kind of person who looks to others to help me through hard times. This week has been especially hard. My sisters and I have been faced with the decline in health of our beloved mother. We have been brave and supportive. Each of us different and our reaction to our circumstance has been varied. The emotional toll has been great.
During this time I have found simple words of comfort have had the greatest impact. Simple words of comfort are the best. They have been delivered by those close to me and by random people I have encountered during the weeks journey - the young nurse who selflessly cared for my mom and who spoke gently to us and to our mom as she administered to her needs. The woman in the elevator who simply said, "I hope whoever you are visiting is at peace." These encounters along with the many conversations I have had over the course of the week have made me remember the great impact our words have on others, on each other.
The words we choose to use are powerful. At this moment it all seems so simple to me - we should strive to use our powers for good.
Sometimes, the best way to help someone is to just be near them.
Magda
I am the kind of person who looks to others to help me through hard times. This week has been especially hard. My sisters and I have been faced with the decline in health of our beloved mother. We have been brave and supportive. Each of us different and our reaction to our circumstance has been varied. The emotional toll has been great.
During this time I have found simple words of comfort have had the greatest impact. Simple words of comfort are the best. They have been delivered by those close to me and by random people I have encountered during the weeks journey - the young nurse who selflessly cared for my mom and who spoke gently to us and to our mom as she administered to her needs. The woman in the elevator who simply said, "I hope whoever you are visiting is at peace." These encounters along with the many conversations I have had over the course of the week have made me remember the great impact our words have on others, on each other.
The words we choose to use are powerful. At this moment it all seems so simple to me - we should strive to use our powers for good.
Sometimes, the best way to help someone is to just be near them.
Magda
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Things I have Found on the Dining Room Table
Living with teenagers is a daily adventure. This is not breaking news to anyone who is experiencing or has experienced this wonderful(bit of sarcasm) time in parenting.
My latest trial, and possibly obsession, is surrounded by the things I have found on the dining room table. I share this list hoping not to be judged by my house cleaning abilities or lack there of, but rather by my constant attempt at trying to teach my children to pick up after themselves.
Here are some of my favorite finds:
An algebra book, calculator, and yesterday's homework (done but still not turned in)
One sock
Forever 21 shopping bag
An assortment of mechanical pencils - all out of lead
Store receipt for mechanical pencils - not for more lead
Syrup from LAST Saturday's pancake breakfast - phew, now I can stop looking for it in the cupboard
Q-tips - I won't divulge whether they are used or not at the risk of embarrassing anyone BUT I can tell you they were not mine
Banana Peel found under the newspaper - won't tell you what the date is on the paper
Three cellphones - two keep pinging and one is dead
Three laptops
Two cellphone chargers - explaining earlier item on the list
The dogs leash - no one can tell me for certain if he has actually been walked
A dirty cereal bowl from I have no idea when BUT I am not clearing it because this is not a restaurant or a hotel and I am not the hired help, clearly....
Is it 5:00 yet?
Magda
My latest trial, and possibly obsession, is surrounded by the things I have found on the dining room table. I share this list hoping not to be judged by my house cleaning abilities or lack there of, but rather by my constant attempt at trying to teach my children to pick up after themselves.
Here are some of my favorite finds:
An algebra book, calculator, and yesterday's homework (done but still not turned in)
One sock
Forever 21 shopping bag
An assortment of mechanical pencils - all out of lead
Store receipt for mechanical pencils - not for more lead
Syrup from LAST Saturday's pancake breakfast - phew, now I can stop looking for it in the cupboard
Q-tips - I won't divulge whether they are used or not at the risk of embarrassing anyone BUT I can tell you they were not mine
Banana Peel found under the newspaper - won't tell you what the date is on the paper
Three cellphones - two keep pinging and one is dead
Three laptops
Two cellphone chargers - explaining earlier item on the list
The dogs leash - no one can tell me for certain if he has actually been walked
A dirty cereal bowl from I have no idea when BUT I am not clearing it because this is not a restaurant or a hotel and I am not the hired help, clearly....
Is it 5:00 yet?
Magda
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